Healing Through Acceptance: Weekly Focus Series

Acceptance: The Uncomfortable, Beautiful Step Toward Healing

Let’s talk about a word that gets thrown around a lot during divorce and healing: Acceptance. It sounds simple, right? Like it’s just about nodding your head and saying, “Okay, this happened.” But if you’re in the thick of it, you know it’s not that easy. In fact, acceptance can feel like one of the hardest parts of the healing journey.

What Acceptance Is (and What It’s NOT)

First, let’s clear something up: Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re okay with what happened. It doesn’t mean you approve of the choices that led you here, or that you’re over the pain. It means you’re ready to stop fighting reality and start finding peace within it.

When I went through my own divorce, I kept thinking acceptance would feel like some magical moment—like one day I’d wake up, look around, and just be fine. Spoiler alert: That day never came. 

Acceptance wasn’t a single moment for. me. It was a series of tiny, often uncomfortable realizations:

• Realizing I couldn’t change the past, no matter how many times I replayed it in my head.

• Realizing that healing didn’t mean forgetting—it meant learning to carry the memories differently.

Signs You Might Be Moving Toward Acceptance (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

1. You stop trying to rewrite the past. I used to obsess over what I could have done differently. But acceptance snuck in the day I realized, "It happened. It sucked. But it’s over."

2. You respond instead of react. That moment when you receive communication that would have normally set you off, and instead of firing back a novel, you just reply with, “Okay.” That's acceptance, baby.

3. You enjoy your own company. At first, being alone felt foreign. But quickly, I started cherishing and even looking forward to the quiet. It was in my own company that I grew, healed and thrived.

How to Practice Acceptance

• Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment: You don’t have to “feel better” right away. You don't have to "get better" at all. Sit with your feelings. Let them exist without labeling them as “good” or “bad.” You are allowed to feel ALL the feels. They are justified and valid. But you can't live in them forever.

• Focus on What You Can Control: You can’t control your ex, the past, or even your emotions sometimes. But you can control how you respond, how you speak to and view yourself, and the boundaries you set.

• Create New Rituals: I found acceptance in small routines—like morning walks, journaling, and even fully making my new space feel fully like mine. Little shifts helped me feel grounded in a new reality.

My "Aha" Moment

I remember sitting alone in my new place after my divorce, surrounded by boxes, chaos and silence. I thought, "This isn’t what my life was supposed to look like." But instead of spiraling into what-ifs, I took a deep breath and thought, "But this is what it is. And I’m okay. And it's going to be absolutely amazing” 

Acceptance isn’t a finish line you cross. It’s not a destination where everything suddenly makes sense. It’s a quiet shift—a slow release of the need to control, fix, or rewrite the past.

So if you’re in the messy middle, wondering when you’ll finally “accept” it all… you might already be doing it without even realizing it. And that, my friend, is something to be proud of.

💬 What’s one small moment where you realized you were starting to accept your new reality? Share in the comments—I’d love to hear your story.