Dating After Divorce Doesn't Make You a Bad Mom

Let’s clear something up right now:

Being a good mom doesn’t mean you have to put your entire identity on hold. It doesn’t mean you can’t date, can’t fall in love again, or can’t rediscover parts of yourself that go way beyond motherhood. It doesn’t mean you have to apologize for wanting connection, laughter, adult conversation, or even a little spice.

Because here’s the truth that rarely gets said out loud: You can be an incredible mom and still want more for yourself.

After my divorce, I started dating. Not recklessly. Not carelessly. But with intention. I dated to rediscover who I was outside of being a wife and a mom. I dated to feel joy again. To have fun. To explore. I allowed myself to go on dates with men who I knew would never meet my children—because I was allowed to date for me, not just for some future family fairytale.

And through all of that? I never once stopped protecting my kids. I was selective, cautious, and deeply aware of how sacred their world was.

The man I eventually married? He’s the only man who ever met my kids.

So when someone tells me how “irresponsible” it is to bring a man around my children? When they accuse me of putting myself first or “humping around” instead of healing? Yeah. That kind of shame has no place here.

What people don’t understand is that dating after divorce was part of my healing. It helped me discover exactly what I wanted in a partner, what I could never accept again, and most importantly—what I had to offer in a relationship.

Dating didn’t make me a bad mom. It made me more grounded, more whole, and more confident in the example I was setting for my children. Because I want them to know what it looks like when a woman chooses herself. I want them to see that healing is possible. That joy is possible. That love, real love, can show up when you’re finally willing to stop shrinking to fit someone else’s narrative of who you should be.

So to every mom who’s ever been shamed for dating after divorce, keep going. You’re allowed to love again. You’re allowed to feel again. You’re allowed to be a whole human again.

You’re not a bad mom. You’re a brave one.

And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.